English text
There once was a king who ruled his country long, wisely, and well. The king had a son whom he hoped would someday rule the land. He also wished in his heart that the son would be wise and compassionate. One day he said to the prince: "If you promised that you would give a certain woman anything, even half of your kingdom, and then she demanded the life of your best friend, what would your decision be, my son?" The young prince thought for a moment and then said, "I would tell her that she was my best friend, and then cut off her head." The king knew that his son would be a great king.
English variant — jive
Dere once wuz some kin' who ruled his country long, wisely, and sheeit. De kin' had some son whom he hoped would someday rule da damn land. He also wished in his heart dat da damn son would be wise and compassionate. What it is, Mama! One day he said to de prince, dig dis: "If ya' promised dat ya' would give some certain mama anydin', even half uh yo' kin'dom, and den she demanded da damn life uh yo' best homey, whut would yo' decision be, mah' son?" De yung prince dought fo' some moment and den said, "I would tell ha' dat she wuz mah' best homey, and den cut off ha' 'haid." De kin' knowed dat his son would be some great kin'.
English variant — valspeak
Like, there once was a kin' who ruled his country long, mostly, wisely, like, wow, and well. The kin' had a son whom he hoped would someday rule thuh land. That dude also wished in his heart that thuh son would be wise and compassionate. One day he said to thuh prince: "If you promised that you would give a certain woman anythin', man, even half of your kin'dom, mostly, and then she demanded thuh life of your best friend, what would your decision be, mostly, my son?" The young prince thought for a moment and then said, like, wow, "I would tell her that she was my best friend, like, wow, and then cut off that chick head." The kin' knew that his son would be a awesum kin'.