English text
Two Finns and a penguin are sitting on the front porch of a large house. The penguin is dripping in sweat; his owner looks down and says to the other Finn, "Hey Urho, I want that you should take the penguin to the zoo, okay?" The owner then runs off to the sauna. When he gets out of the sauna, he looks up at the porch, and sure enough, there is Urho and the penguin, sweating away. So he yells out "Hey, Urho, I thought I told you to take the penguin to the zoo, I did." And Urho yells back "Yup, and tomorrow we're going to the movies!"
English variant — jive
Two Finns and some penguin are sittin' on de front po'ch uh a large crib. De penguin be drippin' in sweat; his owna' looks waaay down and says t'de oda' Finn, "Hey Urho, ah' wants' dat ya' should snatch de penguin t'de zoo, coo'?" De owna' den runs off t'de sauna. Sheeeiit. When he gits out uh de sauna, he looks down at da damn po'ch, and sho' nuff enough, dere be Urho and da damn penguin, sweatin' away. Slap mah fro! So he yells out "Hey, Urho, ah' dought ah' told ya' t' snatch de penguin to de zoo, ah' dun did." And Urho yells back "Ydown, and tomo'row we're goin' to de movies. Right On! "
English variant — valspeak
Two Finns and a penguin are sittin' on thuh front porch of a awesum pad. The penguin is drippin' in sweat; his owner looks down and says to thuh other Finn, "Hey Urho, oh, baby, I want that you should take thuh penguin to thuh zoo, fer shure, okay?" The owner then runs off to thuh sauna. When he gets out of thuh sauna, mostly, he looks up at thuh porch, fer shure, and sure enough, like, there is Urho and thuh penguin, oh, baby, sweatin' away. So he yells out "Hey, oh, baby, Urho, like, I thought I told you to take thuh penguin to the zoo, man, I did." And Urho yells back "Yup, oh, baby, and tomorrow we're goin' to the flicks! Gag me with a pitchfork!"