English text
**** IMPORTANT **** ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE **** Due to a recent systems overload error your recent disk files have been erased. Therefore, in accordance with the UNIX Basic Manual, University of Washington Geophysics Manual, and Bylaw 9(c), Section XII of the Revised Federal Communications Act, you are being granted Temporary Disk Space, valid for three months from this date, subject to the restrictions set forth in Appendix II of the Federal Communications Handbook (18th edition) as well as the references mentioned herein. You may apply for more disk space at any time. Disk usage in or above the eighth percentile will secure the removal of all restrictions and you will immediately receive your permanent disk space. Disk usage in the sixth or seventh percentile will not effect the validity of your temporary disk space, though its expiration date may be extended for a period of up to three months. A score in the fifth percentile or below will result in the withdrawal of your Temporary Disk space.
English variant — jive
**** IMPORTANT **** ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE **** Due t'a recent systems overload erro' yo' recent disk stashs gots' been erased. Derefo'e, in acco'boogy wid de that slow mo-fo Basic Manual, University of Washin'ton Geophysics Manual, and Bylaw 9(c), Secshun XII uh de Revised Federal Communicashuns Act, ya' are bein' granted Tempo'ary Disk Space, valid fo' dree monds fum dis date, subject t'de restricshuns set fo'd in Appendix II uh de Federal Communicashuns Handscribblin' (18d edishun) as sheeit as de references menshuned herein. 'S coo', bro. You's may apply fo' mo'e disk space at any time. What it is, Mama! Disk usage in o' above da damn eighd puh'centile gots'ta secure da damn removal of all restricshuns and ya' gots'ta immediately receive yo' puh'manent disk space. What it is, Mama! Disk usage in de sixd o' sevend puh'centile gots'ta not effect de validity uh yo' tempo'ary disk space, dough its 'espirashun date may be extended fo' some puh'iod uh down t'dree monds. A sco'e in de fifd puh'centile o' below gots'ta result in de widdrawal uh yo' Tempo'ary Disk space. What it is, Mama!
English variant — valspeak
**** IMPORTANT **** ALL USERS PLEASE NOTE **** Due to a recent systems overload error your recent disk files have been erased. Like, therefore, like, wow, in accordance with thuh UNIX Basic Manual, man, University of Washin'ton Geophysics Manual, man, and Bylaw 9(c), oh, baby, Section XII of thuh Revised Federal Communications Act, man, you are bein' granted Temporary Disk Space, valid for three months from this date, like, wow, subject to thuh restrictions set forth in Appendix II of thuh Federal Communications Handbook (18th edition) as well as thuh references mentioned herein. You may apply for more disk space at any time. Disk usage in or above thuh eighth percentile will secure thuh removal of all restrictions and you will immediately receive your permanent disk space. Disk usage in thuh sixth or seventh percentile will not effect the validity of your temporary disk space, oh, baby, though its expiration date may be extended for a period of up to three months. A score in thuh fifth percentile or below will result in thuh withdrawal of your Temporary Disk space.