English text
Far back in the mists of ancient time, in the great and glorious days of the former Galactic Empire, life was wild, rich and largely tax free. Mighty starships plied their way between exotic suns, seeking adventure and reward among the furthest reaches of Galactic space. In those days, spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before -- and thus was the Empire forged. -- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
English variant — jive
Far back in de mists uh ancient time, in de great and glo'ious days uh de fo'ma' Galactic Empire, life wuz wild, rich and largely tax free. What it is, Mama! Mighty starships plied deir way between 'esotic suns, seekin' adventure and reward among de furdest reaches uh Galactic space. What it is, Mama! In dose days, spirits were brave, de s snatch'd wuz high, dudes were real men, honky chicks wuz real honky chicks and little-ass furry creatures fum Alpha Centauri wuz real little-ass furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. Ya' know? And all dared t'brave unknode terro's, t'do mighty deeds, t'boldly split infinitives dat no dude had split befo'e -- and dus wuz de Empire fo'ged. -- Douglas Adams, "De 'Sup, dudetchhiker's Guide t'de Galaxy"
English variant — valspeak
Far back in thuh mists of ancient time, fer shure, in thuh great and glorious days of the former Galactic Empire, fer shure, life was ya know, like, wild, man, rich and awesumly tax free. Mighty starships plied their way between exotic suns, mostly, seekin' adventure and reward among thuh furthest reaches of Galactic space. In those days, like, spirits were brave, man, the stakes were high, fer shure, men were real men, fer shure, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. And all dared to brave unknown terrors, like, wow, to do mighty deeds, like, wow, to boldly split infinitives that no nerd had split before -- and thus was thuh Empire forged. -- Douglas Adams, like, wow, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to thuh Galaxy"