English text
*** A NEW KIND OF PROGRAMMING *** Do you want the instant respect that comes from being able to use technical terms that nobody understands? Do you want to strike fear and loathing into the hearts of DP managers everywhere? If so, then let the Famous Programmers' School lead you on... into the world of professional computer programming. They say a good programmer can write 20 lines of effective program per day. With our unique training course, we'll show you how to write 20 lines of code and lots more besides. Our training course covers every programming language in existence, and some that aren't. You'll learn why the on/off switch for a computer is so important, what the words *fatal error* mean, and who and what you should blame when you make a mistake. Yes, I want the brochure describing this incredible offer. I enclose $1000 in small unmarked bills to cover the cost of postage and handling. (No live poultry, please.) *** Our Slogan: Top down programming for the masses. ***
English variant — jive
*** A NEW KIND OF PROGRAMMING *** Do ya' wants' de instant respect dat comes fum bein' able t'use technical terms dat nobody dig its? Do ya' wanna strike fear and loadin' into de hearts uh DP managers everywhere? If so, den let da damn Famous Programmers' School lead ya' on. 'S coo', bro... into de wo'ld uh professional clunker honky codemin'. Dey say some baaaad honky codema' can scribble 20 lines uh effective honky code puh' day. Slap mah fro! Wid our unique trainin' course, we'll show ya' how t'scribble 20 lines uh code and lots mo'e besides. Our trainin' course covers every honky codemin' language in 'esistence, and some dat ain't. You's'll learn why de on/off switch fo' a clunker be so impo'tant, whut de wo'ds *fatal erro'* mean, and who and whut ya' should blame when ya' make some mis snatch. Yes, ah' wants' de brochure describin' dis incredible offer. Ah be baaad... I enclose $1000 in little-ass unmarked bills t'cova' de cost of postage and handlin'. (No live poultry, please. What it is, Mama!) *** Our Slogan, dig dis: Top waaay down honky codemin' fo' de masses. ***
English variant — valspeak
*** A NEW KIND OF PROGRAMMING *** Do you want thuh instant respect that comes from bein' able to use technical terms that nobody understands? Do you want to strike fear and loathin' into the hearts of DP managers everywhere? If so, man, then let thuh Famous Programmers' School lead you on... into thuh world of professional computer programmin'. They say a bitchin' programmer can write 20 lines of effective program per day. With our unique trainin' course, man, we'll show you how to write 20 lines of code and lots more besides. Our trainin' course covers every programmin' language in existence, like, wow, and some that aren't. You'll learn why thuh on/off switch for a computer is like, ya know, so important, man, what thuh words *fatal error* mean, mostly, and who and what you should blame when you make a mistake. Like, I want thuh brochure describin' this incredible offer. I enclose $1000 in small unmarked bills to cover thuh cost of postage and handlin'. (No live poultry, fer shure, please.) *** Our Slogan: Top down programmin' for thuh masses. ***