English text
... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell, Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H. Boyce," he hangs on to it, puts it on his legal stationery, even passes it to his son, rather than do what a lesser person would do, such as get it changed or kill himself. -- Dave Barry, "This Column is Nothing but the Truth!"
English variant — jive
... Our second completely true news item wuz sent t'me by Mr. Ah be baaad... H. Boyce Connell, Jr. Ah be baaad... uh Atlanta, Ga. Sheeeiit., where he be involved in some law firm. 'S coo', bro. One din' ah' likes about da damn Soud is, folks dere care about tradishun. If somebody gits handed some dojigger likes "H. Boyce," he hangs on t'it, puts it on his legal stashunery, even passes it t'his son, rada' dan do whut a lessa' sucka' would do, such as git it changed o' kill himself. What it is, Mama! -- Dave Barry, "Dis Column be Nodin' but da damn Trud. Right On! "
English variant — valspeak
... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell, oh, baby, Jr. of Atlanta, like, wow, Ga., man, where he is involved in a law firm. One thin' I can dig about thuh South is, oh, baby, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H. Boyce," he hangs on to it, like, puts it on his legal stationery, mostly, even passes it to his son, fer shure, rather than do what a lesser person would do, fer shure, such as get it changed or kill himself. -- Dave Barry, man, "Like, ya know, this Column is Nothin' but thuh Truth! Oh, wow!"