English text
Why I Can't Go Out With You: I'd LOVE to, but... -- I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters. -- None of my socks match. -- I'm having all my plants neutered. -- I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out. -- My yucca plant is feeling yucky. -- I'm touring China with a wok band. -- My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night. -- I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism. -- There are important world issues that need worrying about. -- I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush. -- I prefer to remain an enigma. -- I think you want the OTHER Peggy/Cathy/Mike/whomever. -- I feel a song coming on.
English variant — jive
Why ah' Can't Go Out Wid You's: I'd LOVE to, but... -- ah' gots'ta answa' all uh my "occdownant" letters. -- None uh my socks match. -- I'm havin' all mah' plants neutered. -- ah' changed da damn lock on mah' doo' and now ah' can't git out. -- My yucca plant be feelin' yucky. Slap mah fro! -- I'm tourin' China wid some wok band. -- My chocolate-appreciashun class meets dat night. -- I'm runnin' off t'Yugoslavia wid some fo'eign-exchange student dojiggerd Basil Metabolism. 'S coo', bro. -- Dere are impo'tant wo'ld issues dat need wo'ryin' about. -- I'm goin' t'count da damn bristles in mah' toodbrush. -- ah' prefa' to remain an enigma. Sheeeiit. -- ah' dink ya' wants' de OTHER Peggy/Cady/Mike/wcribver. Ah be baaad... -- ah' feel some song comin' on. 'S coo', bro.
English variant — valspeak
Why I Can't Go Out With You: I'd LOVE to, fer shure, but... -- I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters. -- None of my socks match. -- I'm havin' all my plants neutered. -- I changed thuh lock on my door and now I can't get out. -- My yucca plant is ya know, like, feelin' yucky. -- I'm tourin' China with a wok band. -- My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night. -- I'm runnin' off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism. -- Like, there are important world issues that need worryin' about. -- I'm goin' to count thuh bristles in my toothbrush. -- I prefer to remain an enigma. -- I think you want thuh OTHER Peggy/Cathy/Mike/whomever. -- I feel a song comin' on.